Medics learn that signalling stress, that is, an inability to cope, is failure. Where does this leave us when faced with untenable circumstances? Suffering from severe burnout before COVID-19, I fell into a void, hopeless, guilt ridden, and angry. The term ‘resilience’ fanned the simmering embers of my self-perceived inadequacy. Clinical work became unendurable as anxiety spiralled. I felt overwhelmingly alone, and yet I know that cannot be. To learn from each other, we must talk honestly about challenging experiences, and map out how we found a way through.
When I eventually sought medical help, long postponed by disillusionment and self-blame, my expectation of hopelessness was confirmed. I was advised to relax. My body had no physical memory of relaxation, my mind no blueprints. I was offered a short course of CBT and encouraged to take medication. CBT is …