An award-winning health journalist poses as a locum GP to expose the truth about general practice.
I know it's not strictly legal, but I'm doing this is in the public interest. General practice is not well. GPs are paid more than the prime minister just for referring you to a proper doctor. You can never see the same doctor, and don't even try getting an appointment to fit around shopping or the school run. Even reasonable people like me are getting thrown off GPs’ lists just for missing a few appointments. So I am going undercover as a locum GP to lift the lid on general practice, and to find out what the hell's going on at the other end of the stethoscope.
Don't worry — I am not putting patients’ health at risk. Although I'm not medically qualified in the traditional sense, I do have GCSE biology, and I am an experienced freelance health journalist. I've covered most of the big health stories of the last decade, from the scandal of statins to the breakthrough of using acupuncture to cure dietary allergies. I've even worked as health features editor for Preggers! magazine for a year, where I commissioned an award-winning article on celebrities’ pregnancy-induced piles. And of course, I'm a fully qualified mum too. I have a 4 year-old daughter, Lettis, so there's not much I don't know about ear aches, fevers, and Calpol®; certainly more than the baby-faced ‘doctors’ at the surgery who lecture my nanny every time she takes Lettis in. So although my formal degree is in media studies from London Metropolitan, my informal qualification is in common sense medicine from the University of Motherhood and Health Journalism.
I sometimes get butterflies in my stomach when I imagine what my first solo surgery will be like. But I'm sure I'll be fine — I've done my research. I have hacked into doctors’ chat forums, and befriended some GP registrars (always up for a free drink) in my local pub. I have uncovered four golden rules to surviving as a GP, and if I stick to those I can't go far wrong:
Communication is 90% of the job. Be nice, listen to patients, and involve them in decisions, and you're very unlikely to get any complaints (however hopeless you are at real medicine). The evidence from medical protection societies backs this up.
You only need to know about 10 medicines really well — that should cover most problems, from high blood pressure to urine infections. Steroid or antibiotic creams work for most skin rashes.
It's considered professional to know your limits and that means you can look things up. The British National Formulary (BNF) is a sort of doctors’ bible on drugs and explains everything you need to know about prescribing in the UK. Anything else, you can look up on a website called GP Notebook — an online textbook of general practice, covering most things you're likely to see.
Anything not covered by 1–3; refer to a specialist.
How hard can it be? I can't wait.
Dr Imposter exists only in the imagination of the author, and no real patients have come to harm in the writing of this column.
- © British Journal of General Practice 2012