Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick,
So she called for the doctor to be quick, quick, quick,
The doctor said, ‘I’m sorry Miss Polly but you see
We’ve commissioned our home visits to a private company —
They’ll be with you in a jiffy, they’ll help you in a tick,
To access their service takes just one click
They’ll turn your dolly’s room into a virtual ward.
Spot diagnoses are their real forte
(But only over Skype, else you’ll have to pay).’
Miss Polly said, ‘But doctor, she seems very ill,
I’ve tried to give her Calpol but she won’t keep still.
The internet’s for shopping not for primary care,
Now please come out and visit or complaints I’ll prepare.’
‘Complaints? Oh, Miss Polly, don’t go down that route,
Here, have the number of our conciliatory group;
It’s just been set up by the new LMC
To help maintain relations ‘tween the likes of you and me.’
Miss Polly hung up. And with dolly on her knee,
She joined the endless queues at her local A + E.
- © British Journal of General Practice 2013