Poem

THE PHARMASHOCK

Twas lunching, and the pharmatoads

  Came sniffling with their pseudobabes:

All flimsy were their datagroves,

  And their freebles were all outgave.

‘Beware the Pharmashock, my son!

  Their graphs that lie, the stats that catch!

Beware the freesome lunch, and shun

  Their heinous wonderpatch!’

He worked out NNT as planned:

  The truth of intervention sought —

So argued he, statistically,

  And for the truth he fought.

And, in triumphal truth he stood,

  The Pharmashock, took on his game,

Whimp’ring relative risks; she would,

  Then slurbled something lame!

Their trial was spash! Dud through and through.

  Our hero tore their pharmastats!

He left her done, and took her pens

  And calmly gave them back.

‘And, have you beat the Pharmadoc?

  Come now, no need to be so coy!

Untainted now by pharmastain!’

  He chortled in his joy.

Twas lunching, and the pharmatoads

  No longer called with pseudobabes:

We let them keep their datagroves,

  And freebles not outgave.