BJGP Student Writing Competition: the results

A Digital Ache

To: REFERRALS

From: Dr Watkins

Dear Colleague,

I wonder if I could request an appointment for a patient of mine, Mrs Perkins.

In view of her symptoms, I do not think that a repeat endoscopy is required, but I would be grateful if she could be reviewed again in clinic.

Yours,

Dr Watkins

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To: Dr Watkins

From: APPOINTMENTS

Thank you for referring: MRS PERKINS to: ENDOSCOPY DEPARTMENT

An appointment has been booked for: 08:10am 12/01/15

Password: sd67jac9yt

Reference number: 00074583433517344

A letter has been sent to the patient containing their unique access code.

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To: APPOINTMENTS

From: Dr Watkins

Dear Colleague,

I would be grateful if you would cancel the appointment for the above patient, Mrs Perkins, as she does not require a repeat endoscopy.

I have attempted to do this by telephone, but a phonetic disagreement between your voice recognition system and myself led to a serious breakdown in communication, and our alternative interpretations of my attempts to enter the password eventually proved insurmountable.

Yours,

Dr Watkins

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To: Dr Watkins

From: APPOINTMENTS

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE

PLEASE NOTE: CANCELLATIONS CAN ONLY BE MADE BY TELEPHONE BETWEEN 08:00 AND 12:00 MON–FRI. YOUR REFERENCE NUMBER AND UNIQUE ACCESS CODE ARE REQUIRED.

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To: APPOINTMENTS

From: Dr Watkins

Dear Colleague,

Thank you for your message regarding cancellations. I can assure you that I have spent more time with your automated switchboard than with my wife this week. If I ever did enjoy Wagner, I’m quite certain I don’t now.

My secretary has also attempted to cancel this appointment, but confusion over a unique access code, password, and reference number ensued. I presume it was an intrinsic hatred of repeating random combinations of letters and numbers ad infinitum that led to her taking some extra leave, but it may also have been Wagner.

Meanwhile my patient is due an endoscopy next week: a matter which concerns anyone who might actually require one. I would very much like her to be reviewed in clinic instead.

Yours,

Dr Watkins

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To: Dr Watkins

From: Hospital

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE

Thank you for referring: MRS PERKINS to: GASTROENTEROLOGY CLINIC

An appointment has been booked for: 09:30am 10/01/15

Reference number: 00074583433517345

Password: onh823ts6vc

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To: APPOINTMENTS

From: Dr Watkins

Dear Colleague,

I received a notice this morning that my patient’s appointment in the Gastroenterology Clinic has been cancelled, and the appointment in Endoscopy remains. Apparently there was a mix up relating to the reference numbers, and the wrong access code was entered. I did telephone, but I might as well have tried to break into Gringotts.

I appreciate the diligence of your system in its determination to instigate invasive investigations for all, but from a clinical perspective may I suggest that this approach is not entirely justified.

Yours,

Dr Watkins

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To: Dr Watkins

From: Dr Blakemore

Dear Dr Watkins,

I was surprised to see your patient, Mrs Perkins, on the endoscopy list for this morning. So was she.

Fortunately I had a few minutes to give her some reassurance about her symptoms, and I have discharged her back to your care.

Best wishes,

Dr Blakemore

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To: Dr Watkins

From: APPOINTMENTS

AUTOMATED RESPONSE: PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE

This is to inform you that your patient: MRS PERKINS did not attend their appointment at the: ENDOSCOPY DEPARTMENT on: 08:10am 12/01/15

This appointment has been rebooked for: 10:20am 19/01/15

Password: onh823ts6vc

Reference number: 00074583433517341

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