Shingles as a sign of ageing.
For many participants, shingles was viewed as a disease of the older person, and a reminder that they themselves are ageing, which had a direct impact on their sense of identity:
‘When he said it, I actually started saying “that’s an old man’s disease”. I only got the word “that” out of my mouth and then shut up because I’m sixty. I think of myself as forty but I’m not, I’m sixty.’
(AQ062, Male, 60 years old)
One participant resisted this narrative, feeling they were not ‘old enough’ to have shingles:
‘And I went from thinking “oh, this is an old person’s thing” because I was quite upset when I got it, to be honest. I was like “I’m not that old! I’m really not that old!”’
(AQ061, Female, 57 years old)
The stress narrative.
Shingles is caused by a dormant virus, and some participants understood this and felt that physical ill health had triggered it:
‘When I got it, I was thinking where did I get it from and things like this. But now I understand it’s dormant in your body … My immune system was down low. I wasn’t feeling one hundred per cent, I have, a few months ago, got over or given the all-clear at the moment for prostate cancer.’
(AQ042, Male, 61 years old)
When reflecting on why they had experienced shingles, participants often linked it not only to ill physical health but also to poor mental health caused by challenging life events (or both):
‘If I had to make a choice, I’d say stress. I’m having a very tough time with my father-in-law … So, we were having a bit of a tough time. I was also having some cashflow issues.’
(AQ062, Male, 60 years old)
One participant even resigned from his job as a result:
‘I thought I’d probably got this through stress. I need to make some changes, which I have, ’cause I’ve resigned from my job.’
(AQ045, Male, 63 years old)
Healthcare professionals reinforced the perceived link between shingles and mental wellbeing:
‘I did ask the nurse that. She said, “We’ve all got it. If we’ve had chickenpox, we all carry the virus. It can just trigger off when you’re low, or not feeling too good.” So, I think I was feeling quite low. I think maybe that was it. I think it was more to do with the season.’
(AQ050, Male, 64 years old)
The stress narrative can lead to a sense of shame and self-blame, with participants feeling as though they could have avoided shingles by acting or feeling differently:
‘At the time, I was really, really stressed. My mother is ninety-two, and I was looking after her … It was something that I could have avoided if I hadn’t allowed myself to get so uptight.’
(AQ049, Female, 64 years old)
‘I was emotionally a bit low I think, so yeah, I felt I’d not brought it on myself of course, but I got so stressed about my mother-in-law and it was on the back of other stuff, and it was like another thing on top of it.’
(AQ048, Female, 59 years old)
One participant said he did not disclose his diagnosis to others because it suggested he was struggling with his mental and physical health:
‘Silly thing to say, but I didn’t want to go and tell everyone I had shingles … You go online and have a look at it and think people are down in the dumps and kind of things like that, and I never considered myself anything like that … I didn’t want to own up to anything like that, and I don’t think I was.’
(AQ041, Male, 64 years old)
