Theme 1: my experiences can be my superpower
Most participants felt that they used the special knowledge and understanding they had gained through personal experience to be better doctors, well-equipped to support survivors. They perceived that they identified many survivors using their ‘sixth sense’ and had unique skills to respond to survivors, going ‘above and beyond’ for them. As one participant said:
‘All of my patients who have disclosed family violence have been seen by other doctors – other doctors who didn’t see it before … the feedback from patients has consistently been that it’s really great to see a GP … who actually sees that dimension of themselves. I think it’s an absolute superpower that I’ve had this experience. It has increased my power as a healer so much.’ (P01, child abuse [CA] and IPV)
Having a sixth sense
All participants felt able to pick up subtle signs of abuse that they said stemmed from a deep intuition. They used descriptive language to outline this process using words such as, ‘sixth sense’, ‘spidey senses’, ‘a radar’, ‘gut feel’, ‘vibes’, ‘heebie-jeebies’, ‘antennas’, ‘familiarity alarm bell’. As one participant said, ‘I can smell it.’ (P17, CA and IPV). Participants discussed being able to identify abuse patterns, especially coercive control, because they were familiar with it from personal experience:
‘You have this sixth sense that something’s not right … I guess because that sixth sense has served me well to help me survive, I just know not to ignore it when I’m in a consult.’ (P04, CA and abuse by parent as adult)
‘There’s certainly sometimes little situations that give you the vibes, heebie-jeebies … when you're talking to somebody and something just doesn't quite feel right.’ (P16, CA)
Participants believed that they were more comfortable asking about DFV compared with their GP peers, which contributed to increased disclosures:
‘So, I guess it [being a survivor] helps my work because I'll ask anyone anything.’ (P14, CA)
Overall, participants felt that they had a unique understanding of their survivor patients compared with GPs who were not survivors, which they felt underpinned stronger patient care:
‘I do think that survivors themselves can cater to other survivors in ways that people who haven't had that experience can’t.’ (P15, CA and IPV)
‘I’m sure I’m a better doctor as a result of all of this, unfortunately. Fortunately, but unfortunately. I’m sure I’m a better doctor.’ (P18, IPV)
Participants perceived that they were not only identifying many survivors, but they also felt that they were better doctors because of their experiences, going above and beyond for survivor patients (see Box 2).
Box 2. Case story
One participant saw a couple in her clinic and the women needed a cervical screening test (CST). The husband decided to stay in the room for the CST. ‘Something about it just felt weird.’ (P11, CA). So she wrote ‘do you need help’ on a piece of paper and left it with a pen behind the curtain where the patient was undressing. The patient wrote ‘get the police, he’s going to kill me’. The police were called and were waiting at the end of the consultation, arresting him and removing his access to a weapon. Describing the experience, the participant said: ‘You kind of think, I don't know, you’ve got to listen to those little bits of intuition, don't you, where you just know something’s not right?’ (P11, CA)
Going above and beyond
Most participants reported that they would go above and beyond for survivor patients out of a sense of solidarity and identification. This included sharing validation, creative solutions, and advice for survivor patients:
‘I’d go above and beyond. I’d have superhuman energy to make sure they were protected and that they were treated well.’ (P01, CA and IPV)
‘I think I’m probably GP extra to that child.’ (P14, CA)
Many participants wanted to give survivors the experience they themselves had never had with doctors.
‘I’m being the person I wish I’d had access to.’ (P13, CA)
Participants felt the importance of validating survivors, because they themselves wished to be validated.
‘I believe them. Some of the stories are so outrageous. But when you have been in outrageous situations yourself, you know that these things happen and are true.’ (P09, CA and IPV)
Participants also used their own experiences to inform creative problem solving and advice, and an understanding of supports and services:
‘I’ve come up with some very creative ideas as well on problem solving because I’ve also had to be really creative about my own difficulties as well.’ (P02, IPV)
‘Survivors themselves are aware of all the resources more than someone who hasn’t gone through it… you have a lot more nuanced information.’ (P15, CA and IPV)
Participants perceived they were better doctors and well-equipped to identify and support survivors due to their own experiences despite difficult emotions that could arise from connecting with survivor stories.
Theme 2: connecting with survivors’ stories
Most participants strongly identified with survivor patients, especially but not exclusively when their stories had resonance with their own. This could lead to difficult emotions as well as empathy:
‘They start to talk to me about different patterns of things like control, and gaslighting … there’s so much that is relatable in those stories.’ (P08, IPV)
Hearing survivor stories could lead to an emotional response, with participants describing encounters as ‘triggering’, ‘upsetting’, ‘tough’, ‘difficult’, and ‘distressing’:
‘Anything… similar to what I went through is always going to trigger me. Because for me, there was a physical aspect. Anybody who has a physical aspect, then I immediately get that [inhales], a bit of an, ugh, I know what that feels like.’ (P05, In-law abuse)
‘There were a lot of parallels in the story … I was like, wow, there’s a lot of similar stuff there … It was certainly distressing afterwards … That stuff never goes away.’ (P11, CA)
However, in general, participants felt they had more empathy that enabled them to figuratively walk in their survivor patient’s shoes:
‘I think when you actually live through it, you actually understand those concepts better … it kind of gives you an accelerated way of empathising I think.’ (P03, CA)
‘I feel like it makes me more empathetic because I feel like I can be in their shoes a little bit more ... it just makes me more empathetic and more wanting to help them.’ (P13, CA)
However, although feeling empathy, several participants felt frustrated when they perceived survivor patients to be ‘stuck’. These participants reflected that they themselves had moved beyond ‘stuck’ and could see that life was better on the other side:
‘I really struggle … when they’re [survivor patient] into that contemplative or even pre-contemplative stage… I struggle also feeling angry at them for going back. It’s like I escaped. Why can’t you? Why can't you see?’ (P04, CA and abuse by parent as adult)
As participants identified with DFV survivors, they experienced an emotional response both in themselves and towards their survivor patients. This then led to a tension in their professional role including facing dilemmas about reciprocal sharing of their own story.
Theme 3: wearing a cloak
Participants described experiencing tension in their consultations with survivors as they balanced staying professional with the emotions they were experiencing. Many participants had a ‘get on with it’ mentality described as ‘wearing a cloak’ as they put on their professional identity to shield them from being overwhelmed by emotion in the consultation:
‘I think you put on a different cloak. I think it'll be okay, but … I've actually booked out the appointment after it … as a breather.’ (P11, CA)
Many participants used a cloak of professionalism to ensure that patients did not recognise that they had been emotionally affected or ‘triggered’ during the consultation because of concerns that it may negatively affect the patient:
‘Sometimes I’m really glad I still wear a surgical mask so they can’t see my face … I just have to really hold myself together and go, okay, I understand … I can’t show it because I don’t want to upset her … So, it’s quite frustrating and I kind of have to let it all out when the patient’s not in the room.’ (P04, CA and abuse by parent as adult)
‘It doesn't trigger anything. When you're in your professional role, you're in your professional role, you know?’ (P07, CA and abuse by parent as adult)
Participants reported trying to remain professional during the consultation and pushing through the emotions but would then use different coping mechanisms such as breaking into tears afterwards, needing a breather, booking out the next appointment or having a debrief:
‘So, then it becomes a little awkward because you kind of go, I need to push that and I need to do the professional, and I will cry later.’ (P05, In-law abuse)
One participant described the process of how she maintained a professional demeanour to avoid the patient seeing that the consultation had upset her and her strategy for reducing any negative effects on patient care:
‘It’s hard during a consult to do very much because the patient’s right there, so I try and compartmentalise it in that moment, to kind of get through the consult the best I can. Then afterwards I take a couple of minutes before bringing the next patient in, do some breathing exercises, I might write something down. I think journalling’s quite helpful. Then, if I felt that there was something that I missed telling the patient or something that could have helped them … I … call them later, when I’m feeling a bit better and say, there’s this other resource that I thought would be helpful for you … I don’t think that the patient has ever recognised that I was triggered.’ (P15, CA and IPV)
Participants also described there was tension in the consultation about the appropriateness of expressing emotions and crying in front of survivor patients. Participants who put on the cloak of professionalism held it together through the consultation before expressing their emotions later:
‘I have to be professional and deal with my anxiety later and just focus on her.’ (P04, CA and abuse by parent as adult)
Conversely, some participants cried with survivor patients during the consultation. They acknowledged the risk of reducing focus on the patient or making things awkward, especially if there was not already a strong doctor–patient relationship. However, one participant felt that it showed the survivor patient that they understood their situation:
‘Often, I won't cry but there have been times when I have cried a few tears because I am so sad about the situation … and I will cry in front of the patient because I'm human. I'm not a robot. I don’t apologise for it, apart from if it derails the conversation, which hopefully it doesn’t. It’s more to show that I really do get it.’ (P17, CA and IPV)
‘The incident that happened to her was … similar to the incident that happened to me … I sat there, held her hand and I'm like, oh sorry, I'm going to cry on you for a minute ... She was like, are you all right? … because I know her very well, it helps. But occasionally, when there are people obviously you don’t know very well, you can’t really do that. So, then it becomes a little awkward.’ (P05, In-law abuse)
Although many participants did not disclose their own stories to patients, some disclosed parts of their stories to show that healing can occur after DFV. Participants spoke of a tension with balancing disclosure and keeping the focus on their patient:
‘I have actually shared little bits of my history to say that I understand. I understand what domestic violence looks like when you're raising children … You have to do the work and that’s how you'll get stronger and not make those same mistakes.’ (P17, CA and IPV)
Despite feeling difficult emotions and having to continuously put on the cloak of professionalism, many participants felt a sense of purpose in their work with survivors because of their own experiences.
Theme 4: my experiences give me a sense of purpose
Many participants felt that their experiences gave them a sense of purpose: that despite the trauma of their past experiences, their experience could be used for something good, and for some, this translated into career choices:
‘I mean it has had a massive impact on my life … it has definitely shaped me. I guess to want to do something with that … to try and make change for others.’ (P02, IPV)
‘Not that it makes up for what I went through, but it makes me feel like there’s purpose I guess in what I’ve been through.’ (P04, CA and abuse by parents as adult)
For some participants, their sense of purpose guided their career choice with many choosing medicine or general practice so that they could help others:
‘It defined my choice of career. I really wanted to be a healer. I really wanted to offer space and kindness to people and I saw medicine as a way of doing that.’ (P01, CA and IPV)
Some even felt that working with survivors helped them in their own journey of healing:
‘I think that being able to provide that support actually in some strange way, helps you as well.’ (P15, CA and IPV)
‘One of the reasons I do this work is obviously because I want families to be healthy … and so doing work professionally which helps support that is actually quite enriching.’ (P02, CA)
For one participant, working with survivors prompted reflection about her own situation.
‘Looking after patients going through that, while you’re going through it yourself … there were times where I was telling patients things that in my head … I should be telling this stuff to myself.’ (P15, CA and IPV)
Still, some participants had to put boundaries around DFV work with patients to protect themselves from becoming ‘burnt out’. This included choosing not to work rurally (P12), not to do paediatrics (P17, P14), working in a GP subspecialty (P10), and avoiding taking on a DFV education role (P04). However, these boundaries did not prevent them from going above and beyond for survivor patients they did identify.
In contrast, five participants had taken, or were planning to take, their sense of purpose a step further by advocating for survivors beyond the clinic in multiple ways: supporting doctor survivors; in advocacy work; research; education; and entering politics.
‘But I do feel like I want to get into some sort of advocacy kind of work, because the system is really not good.’ (P15, CA and IPV)