TY - JOUR T1 - Windows on a life (it would be a difficult decision, but …) JF - British Journal of General Practice JO - Br J Gen Pract SP - 566 LP - 567 VL - 54 IS - 504 AU - Dorothy Crowther Y1 - 2004/07/01 UR - http://bjgp.org/content/54/504/566.abstract N2 - ‘It would always be a difficult decision. Not to give antibiotics for the pneumonia. I'm not sure that I could make that decision. But I think I do understand.’Doctor Jones looks at me sympathetically as he speaks. He knows what the problems are. I shake hands and leaving him alone. I return to her bedside.She seems to be asleep with her eyes open. The room is warm and she looks comfortable, but her hands are freezing cold. I massage her hands and feet. Perhaps I can improve the circulation a little. Then I pull the covers firmly over her body. I sprinkle lavender on her pillow. Her eyes are still open but she lies unseeing and motionless. The door opens, a nurse comes in.‘Would you like a cup of tea Ann?’There is no response.‘Is she asleep or awake?’ I ask.‘We don't know, she's been like this all day.’The nurse leaves the tea in a feeding cup for me to see if I can manage to get her to take something. She does not move. There is no attempt to drink or swallow.‘Don't worry,’ says the nurse as she pops back with a cup of tea for me, ‘we'll try again later.’I watch silently at first as I slowly drink my tea. Then I take out the poetry book. She loves poetry, especially the poetry she read to us as children. I can usually manage a smile or some sort of recognition when I recite to her. I read ‘I wandered lonely as a cloud’.Until a few months ago she could manage to say some of this to the carers. Today there is no recognition, nothing. I try again ‘The owl and the pussy cat went to sea’. Normally she loves … ER -