TY - JOUR T1 - A patient's diary: episode 23 — My metamorphosis JF - British Journal of General Practice JO - Br J Gen Pract SP - 812 LP - 813 DO - 10.3399/bjgp08X342732 VL - 58 IS - 556 AU - John Salinsky Y1 - 2008/11/01 UR - http://bjgp.org/content/58/556/812.abstract N2 - When I woke this morning after a night full of uneasy dreams I found that I had been transformed into an enormous insect! My back was all hard as if armour plated and my mouth had several sets of jaws. And when I looked down I could see that I now had a great round belly divided into segments. Then instead of my normal limbs I had all these horrid little legs (I couldn't even count them I was so upset) just waving to and fro pathetically. I remember thinking, that with so many legs, I am not strictly speaking, an insect which has only six legs, but some sort of earwig or woodlouse. Then I thought, this whole thing is ridiculous, it has to be a dream I must be still asleep. If I just turn over, the illusion will fade and everything will be back to normal. But when I tried to turn over I found I couldn't because of the convex shape of my back. All I could do was rock slightly to and fro. This disturbed Hilda, who woke up and said ‘For Heaven's Sake Norman what is it now? Where did you get those pyjamas?’ I tried to tell her it was a dream and she should just go back to sleep but I couldn't get the words out properly because I had an insect's mouth.I tried pinching myself but that didn't work either because although two of my legs are like pincers, I couldn't get them to pinch. By this time Hilda was out of bed, leaning over me anxiously and trying to ascertain what had happened. She said something about the glucosamine capsules I have been taking from the health food shop in the High Street. I warned you to be careful, … ER -